upheld

Oh, sweet summertime. I'm writing this as I sit outside on the deck, in the sunshine, and just spending time with Jesus. When I was younger, I used to love when people would tell me that they were amazed by nature and how we serve such a creative God who made it all. I loved hearing that, but I never understood it or felt it, like they did.  Until lately. I'm starting to feel what they felt and know what they mean. I love the beautiful sunshine and green grass and even the Summer nighttime thunderstorms.
          Even though I have school basically this entire Summer, it's not nearly as intense as a regular semester and I haven't been hating it too much :) Especially today, Thursdays, because I only have class 11-1, and then freeeedom. There are also a few four-five day weekends I have mixed throughout my summer, so that rocks. Can't believe I graduate in less than a year. That'll be one of the best days ever. "Keep pushing, keep going...." School is so hard and takes so much effort. But I know my work is not just for myself but can and should be used to glorify God. and that is a huge part of my motivation.
         Today I was in Isaiah 41. I read Isaiah 41:10 and it struck me that I had read this before. A lot of times. There was a memory associated with it but I couldn't remember what....until it came to me. This verse, I would literally say to myself over and over and over again for the 25-30 minutes during each 5K cross country race in high school. I even used to put it to a song that matched my running rhythm.
       "Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10
      This verse brings me such encouragement. It's literally like nourishment for my soul. I remember running and feeling like I was going to just keel over and die (no, but literally hahah), and hearing "I will help you, I will UPHOLD you...Keep going...Keep going..." That imagery of just being upheld, not in a vain, make-me-better sense but in a desperate, I NEED that help and upholding because without it I am a mess, is incredible. I need this verse every day. I need the reminder to not fear, for my God is with me. That he will strengthen me because I'm weak. That he will help me because I'm desperate and I want and I need His help. and that he will UPHOLD me with his righteous right hand because apart from Him I am down. And I pray He would help me to use His strength, his help and his upholding of me to make much of Him, and less of myself.
Because of Jesus, I am upheld.
and p.s.- if you say "upheld" enough, it sounds like it's not a word. I had to google it, just in case.