Thankful that God is God, and I am not.

 Today, I watched/listened to a sermon by Mark Driscoll about Jesus and anxiety. I have always been a worrier. I can't remember a time where I haven't bitten my nails. (really badly...) And while I say I don't do it because I'm worried, (because honestly, it's a habit like breathing at this point) I know that it's rooted in my once much more worrisome self. Jesus has transformed this area of my life A LOT over the past few years, and for that I am thankful. But it's something that I know I always need to be reminded of, even though it has improved. Before I go on, I'll share the passage of scripture that this sermon was on. This is one of my favorite passages.

 Do Not Worry

    ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?    ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 Isn't that just so powerful? Mark Driscoll really unpacked it so well, and gospel-centeredly (is that a word?), so if you have an hour (or want to watch it in 20 minute segments during study breaks like me...), I highly recommend it.  But I wanted to share some of my insight on it too. 

 

 We live in a culture with such a "future vision". What I mean by that is that we are never in the moment. We are constantly thinking about tomorrow, next week, next month, and even years from now! I do it, we all do it. I like to start my week, with a study schedule for each day, with my weekend planned, and everything "set up". I can't tell you how many weekends I've strived to study for each test of the next week, but to no avail, because all I had time to focus on was my quiz for that monday. It is good to be organized and it is good to plan. Jesus doesn't tell us not to. But what I need to be careful of is not letting those "plans" become my crutch. So that if one of them falls through, my whole world is shaken. Jesus knows that we are busy people with busy lives, and it is no coincidence that he ends this passage with "Do NOT worry about tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own". This is such a life verse. Something I need to think about every day! "Jillian, why are you worried about that? That's not till next month! Live right now. right here."

I'm also learning that Jesus is in control and I am not. I'm sitting here thinking how I can elaborate upon that, but really that's it. I am not in control, so why should I worry like I am? So thanks Jesus, that you are in control, that I am not, and that I should not be fearful, but simply faithful.

Thanks God, that you are God, and I am not.